How I Learned Social Media Limitations from Gen Z
Focusing on living our own lives and not scrolling through others
"Why do we spend so much time worrying about other people's lives instead of living our own? My view on social media changed after watching this TED Talk."
Hearing this from Kaitlin, as a learning coach, I'm constantly amazed by the capacity for self-discovery she shows. One Monday morning, during my coaching session with Kaitlin, a high-school senior, she shared what she’s been up to. Over the weekend, she stumbled upon a TED Talk that sparked something different in her. It was clear she was on the brink of another "aha" moment in her learning journey. These moments of realization are what I live for as a coach – being there as students work through confusion, plan their next steps, and grow more self-aware. We don't do traditional teaching - it's more like we're learning together.
Kaitlin described the TED Talk, titled 'The Battle for Your Time: Exposing the Hidden Costs of Social Media.' The presentation included a striking visual: bubbles representing the hours in our lives, filled with time spent on work, sleep, and social media. The remaining free time was shockingly small. This visual hit Kaitlin hard, making her question why we spend so much precious time worrying about others instead of living our own lives.
Her reaction to this video brought me right back to my teen years, when a powerful screening in my middle school auditorim left a memorable impact. The film documented a teen’s struggle with substance addiction, which our teachers told us it was required viewing for high school admission. My peers and I sobbed through the final credits, promising each other - “that will never be me.” The Pink Floyd song “Two Lost Souls Swimming in a Fish Bowl,” presented by the host’s parents who lost their son to addiction, has left a lasting imprint on me. Now I watch the current generation grappling with their own addiction: social media.
It's fascinating how certain media can profoundly shape us at just the right moment in our lives. For Kaitlin, this TED Talk came at a crucial time during her final year of high school.
Kaitlin was struck by the visual representation of time spent on social media. She expressed concerns about her friends and peers spending so much time on these platforms and was worried about falling into the same pattern herself. Her realization led her to take action. She decided to limit her social media use to weekends only, using an app called Stoic* to block access during the week.
This approach aligned perfectly with her interest in photography and capturing memories, allowing her to post weekly recaps of her experiences. We've been working to find ways to support her in building creativity and trying new things as she prepares for her gap semester before starting college next Fall. So documenting her recent weekend excursion to the seaside for a portrait session and lunch became the perfect intersection of her interests in travel, photography, and the ocean.
With her newfound way to remove distractions, Kaitlin left with a renewed energy for spending time on her own interests and ideas—something I’ve observed all teens wish to be inspired to do more of.
Over the last semester of her senior year, I’ve observed her shift from a consumer to a creator mindset- which has helped Kaitlin improve her mental health, minimizing the worry about her peers and constantly measuring up. She contrasted with a comment she made about how she could spend a whole day on her phone scrolling, and now she spends her free time seeking out new dance classes and travel plans for post-graduation.
Kaitlin's insight and willingness to change have been truly inspiring. Her ability to recognize her own declining mental health after excessive social media use and take concrete steps to address it shows a level of self-awareness that many adults struggle to achieve. It's a testament to the potential of Gen Z to not just adapt to new technologies, but to critically examine their impact and make informed decisions about their use.
As we ended our session, I found myself reflecting on my own social media habits. As Kaitlin's learning coach, I too have been impacted by her journey away from social media addiction.** It's a stark reminder of how technology, while incredibly useful, can also be a double-edged sword. When teens are using social media an average of five hours a day, it's alarming for all ages to realize how easily we can become too attached to our devices.
Kaitlin's example inspired me to rethink my own screen habits. Replacing mindless social media scrolling with Substack Notes, surrounding by people to read, write, and ultimately disconnect. The reminder to “put the phone down” now spans my screen- in hopes of a constant nudge toward more purposeful engagement. It's a powerful reminder that sometimes, our students can be our greatest teachers.
In a world where digital distractions are ever-present, Kaitlin's story serves as a beacon of hope. It shows that with awareness, determination, and the right tools, we can harness the benefits of social media while avoiding its pitfalls. As we navigate this digital age, perhaps we could all benefit from taking a page out of Kaitlin's book—limiting our social media use to create more space for real-life experiences, creativity, and personal growth.
Update: Kaitlin’s update after our Monday conversation
Footnotes:
*: The Stoic app - Not to be confused with actual Stoic philosophy. Though, come to think of it, Marcus Aurelius would probably approve of less Instagram scrolling.
**: Turns out, I needed a Gen Z guide for this app too. Kaitlin walked me through it like I was her grandma discovering emojis. It's not as straightforward as you'd think - it appears as a journaling app. But once you find the 'Stoic Shield' in settings (thanks, Kaitlin), you can block apps during specific times.
Thank you for being a reader and a supporter of this newsletter.
If you are seeking support as a parent, educator, or teen, let’s connect.
What else would you like to hear about? Comment below and keep choosing your own learning journey.
Kindly,
Kelly
Learning Updates:
✏️ Hosted an AI writing workshop, sharing tips to help fellow writers be more efficient with these tools
✈️ Explored the Azores islands, with a highlight of swimming in mineral-rich jungle hot springs
📗 Completed The Artists' Way (finally!) and love the contined practice of morning pages and artists' dates practice
👥 Grateful for my creative community:
, , and many many more Write of Passage cohort friends📈 Started accountability groups for nutrition (family) and daily walks (friends) instead of traditional resolutions
Yes to Kaitlin, yes to your AI walk through, yes to your update log, and yes to the Artist's Way! Honestly yes to all of you. How's the book?
Loved how you've brought out Kaitlin's emerging skill for self-reflection.
I'm celebrating with you how you helped Kaitlin change!